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Positivity~Despite the Odds

We have all been in situations when we are surrounded by negative people. The negativity can really drain you emotional, mentally, spiritually and physically. I find I have to really focus on not falling into the negative trap. It is difficult to stay positive but it is possible. There is hope.

Yes negative people can be draining, it is important to understand how to identify negative people, and how to deal with them.

Take a good look at the people in your life, ask yourself who is negative and who is positive.

Knowing who is negative and who is positive can help you choose who to spend your time with and who to distance yourself from.

Learn Who Is Negative in Your Life: 3 Things To Watch for

  1. Pessimistic Attitudes: Negative people often have pessimistic attitudes, complain a lot, and focus on the negative aspects of a situation. They seem to really grab onto a comment, find the negative and start right away into what I can a high whine. I find myself thinking, "oh no here we go, sorry I mentioned that." and I escape as soon as I can.

  2. Judgemental and Critical: Ask yourself are they judgemental and critical? Do you find yourself becoming judgemental and critical around them? Letting go of being judgemental and critical and not tolerating it in othrs is a very big step in staying positive around others.

  3. Pay Attention to Your Conversations: Really listen to yourself when you are around people. Do you enjoy your conversation with this person, is there a nice give and take, do you feel good and want to talk to the person again?

Once you have identified the negative people in your life, here are 8 behaviours that will be a benefit to help you stay positive when you are surrounded by negative people:

  1. Set Boundries: Once you have identified the negative people in your life, it is important to set boundaries with them. Let them know you do not tolerate any negativity, and that you expect them to be respectful and supportive. Not always an easy thing to do but necessary if you plan to keep this person in your life. If they are not willing or able to respect your boundaries, then distance yourself from them as much as possible.

  2. Savor the Good Things: Think about the things that are going well and savor those moments. Think about the positive things you have done or heard about the person, when negativity arises in your conversation, gently switch it to a positive event.

  3. Connect with others. Reach out to friends and family and talk about happy events you have shared. Spend more time with the positive people in your life and talk about things that bring you happiness.. Be open to meet new people. Join a new club and find like minded people.

  4. Practice Self Care: Don't be too hard on yourself. You can also practice self-care to stay positive when surrounded by negative people. Self-care involves taking time for yourself, practice positive affirmations, read uplifting quotes and books. Be kind to yourself.

  5. What Makes You Happy: Find activities that make you happy and relaxed. Taking a

break to do something you enjoy can help you to de-stress and stay positive. This could include spending time with friends, do something creative. engaging in a physical activity, I find painting or writing brings me back to the now and uplifts me into a positive mindset and I am then better equipped to deal with negative people

  1. Watch Your Self Talk: It is also important to be aware of your self-talk. Negative people can be contagious, and it is easy to get caught up in their negative energy. When you start to feel yourself slipping into a negative mindset, step back and change the way you are talking to yourself. A few years ago I found I was saying "No" a lot in my self talk. It was like I was telling myself something, then I would say no and correct myself. Wow that was an eye opener, hard to be positive when I was the one stopping myself. Remind yourself of the positive things and reframe your thoughts to be more positive.

  2. Focus on the Good: Focus on the good in others, we all have some good and some not so good. Remind yourself to focus on the positive traits of people. Try to find the good in others and appreciate them for their positive qualities. I think appreciating the good in others is a very benefical step in staying positive even when surrounded by negative people.

  3. Stay Connected to Yourself: Being connected to yourself means being aware of and accepting your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it is recognizing your values, beliefs, and needs. Knowing your limits will help you to set boundries and keep them.

Wendy's Words......I have found the more positive I am the less I have in common with negative people. There is no longer anything to talk about. It's sad really when you realize that being negative was really all we had it common. At times I could have chosen to be lonely but you know I really wasn't. I filled my life with positive uplifting things I enjoyed doing. I choose to be on the positive side of life and when I sense the conversation is turning negative, I simply walk away. Staying positive comes first for me.

I hope you can find a way to stay positive and keep positive people around you.

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Brenda Barker
Brenda Barker
Feb 01, 2023

Thank you Wendy! You covered some great tips on how to deal with negativity in ourselves and others.


Thanks Wendy I enjoyed reading your great affirming post on Positivity - Despite The Odds. I have had to learn throughout life and just recently that I have the right to end relationships and or connections with negative family members, friends and or connections that drain my happy mindset and space by allowing them to dump their negative trash in my space. I am being more mindful of who I share my time with. In my past career I had to to listen to many children, youth and adults regarding crisis situations etc. So I have to rewire my brain and empathy to keep very healthy boundaries and know that I do not need to be there for everyone. I…

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